Marshall Online #12: Sex-chat
We’ve all had sex chat I think. It happens so easily and without much effort that we are almost helpless to stop it. Even when we aren’t looking for sex chat, it slides in so quietly that we can hardly tell when it happens, until it is too late and we are chatting dirty. Sex chat isn’t bad, I don’t think, as long as we realize it is chat and not promises of liaisons.
Sex chat is without a doubt gay erotica/porn online that is interactive. You need two people to do it, although I think more can happen too. This is really fantasy and nothing more. However, if you are sex chatting with someone in your area, make sure you don’t mislead him into thinking this is what you are really like: unless you are really like that. Make sure that you are not making promises for tryst and that you are going to deliver something you cannot.
Here are some tips to help you recognize the sex chat is about to start. With the hope, that you can catch yourself and stop it, if that is what you want. Even though these warning signs happen, one may not realize it, even after reading this. I know I don’t. If sex chat doesn’t bother you, then don’t worry about it, just keep reading and get some tips for effective sex chat.
The converstation goes nowhere. This could be at the start of your chat life or in the middle of it. Suddenly you have little to say, and he has not given you much to say or to ask. But yet you are still chatting. You are saying about the same thing, what’s up, how you doing, what’s going on. Both of you are wanting something to happen. Like sitting next to each other just waiting on one to touch the other. This is pre sex chat.
Not always does this develop into sex chat. Because both of you are unsure and shy about it, it may just stop there with bad meaningless converstation. But if you send a subtle hint, he may respond. I’ve done it many times, and it works all the time. The next thing you know, you two are having some sex chat.
He sends emoticons. This can be as a greeting or in the middle of a converstation. He sends you a smiley face, and what he wants is sex chat. If you don’t believe me on this one, try it. Reply to that smiley face with: you look so hot in that second picture, yummm. He’ll reply, trust me. I sometimes wonder if really the guy who greets with an emoticon just wants sex chat. I’ve tested this so much that I’m convinced that a guy who sends you a smiley face as a greeting wants you to reply with something sexual. This is with someone you’ve never chatted with before. Try it.
Big Clues. He’ll tell you he’s horny. He’ll mention his dick. He’ll say something slightly sexual. This is test to see if you reply in kind. If you do, the sex chat will be underway. This guy is not shy, and has lots of confidence.
Finally, the Subtle Clue, “I wish you were here.” I get this all the time and for the longest time I had no clue what was going on. I wish you were here. Why? You don’t know me. We’ve just started chatting. But if you reply with: oh if I were there we’d be having fun, you’ll see a change in him quickly. He’ll reply in kind, he’ll keep that chat going, he’ll jump right on the chat. I don’t like this clue. It’s almost sad. It’s that I’m-so-lonely-please-love-up-on-me line.
Oh and any kind of cuddle chat is sex chat see my blog entry on that Cuddle Chat is Sex Chat.
But if you want sex chat, and that’s ok, here are some tips to becoming better at it. I consider myself a pro of sorts. Not because I’m a Casanova in person, but because I’m a creative writer. And what is sex chat but interactive creative writing. But still, anyone can get good at this and anyone could be a pro. (Well most people.)
Tip 1: understand this isn’t real, this is fantasy. So if you are a bottom and you are chatting with another bottom, you can sex chat as a top. This isn’t real, hell he more than likely lives half a world away, so you won’t called to prove your toppness. So when he makes the hint for sex chat; if you want, reply in kind and be the top. Explore what you would like out of a top. Explore your own dreams. See how he responds. He’ll like it, I’m sure.
Tip 2: understand who you are chatting with. This isn’t so easy, and may take some time, or have to back track some when you make errors. (But back track and correct and move on.) If you get a clue he’s not into something you said, don’t push it, move on. There is plenty to go by to figure him out some. Look at how he replies to understand him more. Are his comments shy and reserved: he may want you to take the lead. Are his comments forceful and strong: he may want you to follow. Just pay attention to him, his comments, and how he types them. There is a difference between “Oh hell yeah,” and “nice”. If he replies with something that seems shy, then be more assertive, be more romantic, you can get him into it. If he replies with a comment about something else, stop the sex chat.
Tip 3: Be creative. You are creating a world, a sexual world, so be open minded and creative. There are no limits in sex chat of what you can do and where. You can set it on a beach, or in his house. You can tie him up, or be tied. You can caress his body or whip him. Make sure you are paying attention to your partner and keeping in line with what he is wanting, but otherwise go crazy. Explore ideas you’ve had and see how he replies. He may offer suggestions you had never thought about. Being creative is the most important. Be creative and go for it.
Tip 5: type good sentences with descriptions. This is as important as tip 4. Look at the difference between these two: “You’ll suck my dick,” and “I’d be on the chair and you’ll be on your knees in front of me, in that nice place where my legs touch your sides, you’ll feel my hand on the back of your head moving you to my crotch.” Yes one is longer I know but it makes for better sex chat. The first one isn’t horrible, but it limits how I respond when I read it, how my mind responds and how my body feels at reading it. The first one limits that response to just my mouth or my crotch. And yes it is an “Or”. But the second one makes me feel more of my body and his body: hand on head, legs on the sides, and of course the mouth and crotch. This is more of a complete picture. Reading this will stimulate the mind’s imagination and he’ll love it.
It’s all in our heads, and the words we use stimulate our mind, our mind will stimulate other parts in turn.
Tip 6: Cuddle at the end. Sometimes it happens that one of you get’s off during this. Make sure you cuddle at the end. Don’t just say: got to go. Take a few messages and tell him how much fun it was, tell him you’d do it again, tell him how hot he was.
Sex chat can be fun! But if it is not what you want then you need to get out of the chat. Simply, tell him you’ve got to go, or even “oh this is heading down a road I’m not ready for.” Being honest with your intensions and desires will help you stop sex chat right away. Stopping it before it starts is always best, so if you get a clue he’s heading down that path, stop it: do not reply in kind. If he says he’s horny, ignore it and ask about the weather. If he says he wishes you were there, tell him ‘well I’m not.”
Sex chat is great as long as you stay open minded and honest. Don’t mislead people into thinking you are willing to do things you are not willing to do in person, but at the same time explore things. Just make sure he knows it is fantasy. I know it is hard to believe that people don’t know this, but they don’t always know it.
