Marshall Online #9: Creating a Couple-Profile

Couple-Profiles: Make It About Both

     Not only do singles surf the net, but couples do as well. And these couples will often create a Couple-profile. I am split on what I think about it. I love when couples do things as a couple, but I’m concerned that it could mean some negative things. Like codependency, control issues, or a relationship that is on the rocks.  Most of the time, I’m confused on who is who, who I’m chatting with, and who is behind the profile. Sometimes I feel that my nervousness is not in reality, it is over reacting or over thinking it. Then I look closer at the profile and I see that it is truly a Couple-profile. After seeing several that I think exemplify how to do a Couple-profile, I’ve come up with some guidelines to help you create a true Couple-profile.

     Guideline 1: the main photo should show both of you. This is important and cannot be changed. If you are advertising yourself as a couple, then show the couple where everyone can see it. Some websites limit the number of photos a person can see, unless they pay, so make sure you show both where it can be seen. 

     Guideline 2: photos of the couple should be photos of both. Avoid putting two photos together to make a photo of you both. This suggest that both are not involved in this profile, and makes you look more like roommates than a couple.  Surly you have some photos of you both? If not why? Don’t you want to have pictures taken together? Get a friend and take some pictures. It’s that easy.

     Guideline 3: Names coordinate with pictures. This one is a rather difficult one, but it can be done. I came up with the guideline after I saw it on a profile. If the website allows you to put your names, as bear411 does, put both names. Then make the pictures parallel the names.  On your profile you’ll have: Hi my name is Rick and Dick.  Then in all your pictures Rick is on the left, and Dick is on the Right. And in your profile make sure you state: Rick is on the left, Dick is on the right.  This is great when it works out. And it can work out easily.

     Guideline 4: Photos should have the both of you.  I’ve seen couple-profiles with only one member of the couple in the pictures. When I run across this kind of couple-profile, I think that only one is interested in doing this. Look internet chatting isn’t for everyone. If that is the case for one of you, then don’t create a couple-profile. Just state in your profile clearly you are in a relationship. If you are going to have couples profile, then make sure you have photos of the both of you. Most of your pictures should be with the two of you. Pick a variety of situations to show.  Things you guys like to do together. And smile! 

     Guideline 5: a good head shot of each one of you.  While most of your photos should be of the two of you, you should have one individual photo of each of you. This should be a good head shot, so we can see your faces better.  I suggest this because it is often hard to see faces clearly in pictures with more than one person, or pictures at a distance. If you have photos that are clear and we can see your faces, this guideline is optional.

     Guideline 6: writing your profile. Just like your photos, make the profile text be about the two of you. If you give the stats for one, give it for the other. If you give the hobbies and interest for one, give them for the other. Some couples are looking for a third or for playmates, so make sure it is clear that both of you are looking for this and what both of you are looking for.

     Guideline 7: when you chat, chat together. I think if you are going to have couple-profile then both of you should be present for the chat. This isn’t so easy, I understand. But at least be in the same room, and both of you should be willing to take the keyboard and chat.  You do this because the profile is about you both. And if you are looking for a playmate, we need to know that both of you are on board here. I’ve been in situations, more times than not, where I’m told both are on board and want me only to get there and find out that one isn’t as into me as I believed.

     Guideline 8: remind us who we are talking to. Yes when you change hands, tell us. When you re-log on and start chatting with someone you chatted with before, just remind him who he is talking to. Not hard to do, just finish a few messages with your name. Marshall.

     Guideline 9: Do not lie.  Don’t lie, don’t lie don’t lie. All lies will be found out. Don’t tell others that both are ok with this if both are not. 

     Both of you have to be on board here.  If one isn't then don’t create the couple-profile.  It is that simple. Make it about both of you, or don’t make it. Extend the couple to all parts of the profile: photos, text, chat.  It is a couple-profile so make it about the both of you.