Picking Profile Pictures
A Guide
I once was chatting with a man who had an in person date with someone he had been chatting with. The date didn’t go well; apparently the date thought my buddy was someone else. The date said, I thought you were someone else, someone I had met in person before. What the date meant was: You don’t look like your picture. I had online stalked the guy and found his Facebook account, so I knew the picture he had on the gay site wasn’t what he looked like now. So, I asked him: “Does your photo look like you.” He replied: “It’s me.” In not answering the question, he answered it. And he knows he doesn’t look like it. I’m sure it was him—ten years ago. But it isn’t him now. Unfortunately, it is a lie.
When you set up your profile, you’ll want to find the best pictures of yourself to show to others. You must be honest and show photos that so how you look right now. There are a few rules that must be followed in choosing the right photos; stepping outside of the rules could indicate to anyone who meets you in person, that you are a liar.
Rule 1: Keep your photos recent in years. Photos that are over two years old are not recent. I’d go as far as saying, over one year old. This means that you must update your profile from time to time keeping those photos as recent as possible. You don’t have to do it more than once a year. But I suggest a few times a year. Not only do you accurately show how you look right now, but updating profile can bring some new attention.
Rule 2: Keep your photos recent in pounds. This is really important and you must adhere to it with honesty. Look: whatever your body is (heavy, thin) someone wants to date you. Men are into thin, average, heavy. It really doesn’t matter what your body looks like--SOMEONE FINDS IT HOT! And since someone will find you hot, do not hide your weight. Twenty pounds will make a difference in how you look. So if you gain or lose twenty pounds, get a new pictures.
Rule 3: Post several photos in different situations. A good head and shoulder shot is great to have because we get a good look at your face; this is essential. Also, have some photos of you in different situations: at a party or a bar, sitting at your desk, something relaxing. It doesn’t matter. Have pictures that show your interests too. If you golf, a picture of you on the green is good. Having pictures in different situations shows that you are outgoing, that you have a life that isn’t confined to just one thing (your computer, your office etc.) By having several pictures in several situations gives viewers a chance to really see you. And more importantly, indicate some of your interests.
Rule 4: Smile. Who would have thought this needed to be said, but it does. I don’t know how many profiles I come across with photos of a man looking unhappy, or without emotion. This is off putting and not something that attracts. You don’t have to smile in every photo, but smile in a few. Most people look better when they smile, so show your good side and smile. If you are at a bar and you see a guy you like, you’re more likely to get a response from him if you smile at him, than if you glare. The same is true on line.
Rule 5: Don’t hide your body. You don’t need to do nudes or shirtless pictures; you only need a few full body shots. You must show us your body so we can tell if we find you attractive. And no matter what your body looks like: someone will like it. So never hide it. You are just setting yourself up to disappoint someone on an in person date.
Rule 6: Cock Portraits/ Ass Portraits. This is the picture of just the cock or just the ass, nothing else. I disapprove of this photo in general. I feel that this devalues you as a complete person; you are reducing yourself to only your cock or ass. Surely you see yourself as more than that. However, I recognize that many men have nice looking cocks or asses and want to show that off. I suggest instead of the portrait shoot where the cock or ass completely cover the picture, you do a full body nude shoot. This is more sexy, and sensual. It will get as much attention as you would otherwise without you appearing to reduce yourself to your sex parts.
Rule 7: Porn shots. I sigh. I don’t understand why so many men want to be porn stars these days, but go on a gay site and you’ll see pictures of men having sex all over profiles. Again, I think this should be avoided. Most of the time the pictures are not well done and are more distracting than exciting. It’s rather cheap, and makes me wonder if the guy is trying to prove he is sexually potent. The porn shot is a pose. And, if the reality doesn’t match the photos, you’ll really upset your sex dates. Remember you are advertising yourself, if your profile is filled with porn pictures, you’ve shown yourself to be ready for sex—all the time! If you can’t produce, don’t pose. And if you are interested in other things besides sex, you are not showing that with any porn shoots on your profile. This rule is to be ignored if you are on a site that is clearly ONLY for sex.
Rule 8: The finger is to be avoided. Fuck you isn’t a greeting. It means: we are done! I’m uncertain what men are trying to accomplish with photos where they give the camera the finger? Are they showing a sense of humor? It doesn’t work if we don’t know the context of the finger; it’s like telling only the punch line of a joke. Are they trying to be badass? Badass is an attitude that comes from within, and need no outward signs. This kind of picture is passé and juvenile.
Picking good photos is vital to creating a good profile. You want to be honest with your pictures. Make sure your photos look like you look now! You’ll find that no matter what you think you look like, you will be attractive to someone. Don’t be afraid of full body shots, someone likes you and your body, your thin body or your obese body. Your photos should represent who you really are. Photos should tell the story of you, who you are, what your interests are. By being honest with your profile, you are honest with yourself and with the men who look at your profile. By being honest, when you meet, you’ll not disappoint them. You should strive to hear your dates say: you look just like your photos.
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