Online Etiquette Rule # 7 and 8: One-Word Replies

One-Word Replies

Some Rules

I don’t know of anything that gets under more skin than one-word replies.  I’ve heard more people make jokes about the idiots online with their one-word messages, and how they are annoying than mention emoticon-only messages.  I think it is because emoticon-only messages are like reading a picture book; and we just kind of find it lightly amusing.  But chat is most like talking to some one; and talking to someone who just says one word at a time is annoying.  

What is amazing is how many of us complain about the one-word reply while replying to the guy who just used a one-word reply. 

Let’s have the rules regarding one-word messages.

Online Etiquette Rule 7: One-word replies are to be avoided.  Nothing says Neanderthal faster than one-word replies.  It is a grunt in online conversation. Just like in face to face interactions when you say “yeah” in a grunting way.  You don’t want to give the impression that you are a Neanderthal and mindless.  So try to answer in a more conversational style. Compare:

Guy 1: hey How’s your day been.

Guy 2: good.

To

Guy 1: hey How’s your day been.

Guy 2: It was good, I had a great work out, that always makes me feel better.

In example two the second Guy tells us something that made the day good. This opens the door for more conversation and chat.  In the first example, the Guy grunts his good.  Hell, SNL’s Frankenstein would have said more than that: Day Good, Fire Bad.  Do you want to be thought of as not having the chatting ability of SNL’s Frankenstein? No, so don’s use the one-word reply. 

Online Etiquette Rule 8:  You may delete one-word replies without replying.  I realize that nothing is more annoying that putting forth a lot of energy to chat with a guy and he grunts a one-word reply.  But don’t be bothered by it or get upset; don’t message him asking him why. Just delete it if you wish.

There are some reasons that are logical as to why he grunts at you, and you may want to think about them before you follow Rule 8.

Reason 1:  Overwhelmed.  He just got on line and is going through his messages.  Depending on what has been going on with him on line, he could have a lot of messages.  When a guy logs in and sees 50 messages, he may want to get through them all so he can focus on live chat.  So he is just giving you one word to get through it. You’ll notice a change in later messages.

Reason 2:  He’s not too smart.  While he would in person give you more than one word, some dumb guys have difficulty typing and thinking at the same time.   Some guys are not good at typing and will never be, so one word is a lot for them.  If you keep chatting with him, you’ll figure out if he’s not smart or not typing-smart in time. It won’t take long.
But I really should not say that he's not smart, I should say: he's not book smart.  I think men who chat really well tend to be educated. This does not mean that guys who do not chat well are dumb, it means they do not have the same experience.  You may find once you meet him in person, that he can carry on a conversation well, and that his intelligence in other ways comes out.  So if you think he may not be as educated as you don't be quick to pass him by. 

Reason 3: He’s not interested in chatting with you.  You’ve messaged him, you’ve asked questions and done the right things, but he is not involved in the chat.  He’s just being polite and doesn’t know how to close the chat without being rule. How would it be if he messaged you: "oh my day was good, but I don't wnat to continue chatting with you." We'd call him rude.  So by replying he isn't rude, but he isn't giving you much of his time. It is a sign that he isn't interested. 

I think this is the most likely of all three reasons.  If you find you are getting several one word replies, make this assumption and move on. Why waste time with someone that isn’t showing interest in you. Say good night and move on. Or delete the message, he won’t care. He’s not interested in you.

One-word messages could very well be for some normal reasons, but at the end of the day it is because he has a lack of interest in you.  It isn’t personal, just move on. If you play the internet game (blog later) you’ll have traffic coming to your profile and find someone who is, and who you like.